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About Lonely

  • Rank
    Scurvy Dog (Picard)


  • Biography
    Grumpy old geezer
  1. What can I say... AWSOME, Fuck YEH! :thumbup:
  2. Be advised. changes to UAC open up can of mischief-making worms... security hole
  3. Actual Names of Towns:<o></o> Nobber (Donegal, Ireland) Arsoli (Lazio, Italy) Muff (Northern Ireland) Bastard (Norway) Twatt (Shetland, UK) Dildo (Newfoundland, Canada) Wankie (Zimbabwe) Climax (Colorado, USA) Lickey End (West Midlands, UK) Shafter (California, USA) Dongo (Congo - Democratic Republic) Dong Rack (Thailand-Cambodia border) Donk (Belgium) Intercourse (Pennsylvania, USA) Brown Willy (every schoolboy's favourite, Cornwall,UK) Lord Berkeley's Knob (Sutherland, Scotland) Stains (Near Paris,France) Turdo (Romania) Fukum (Yemen) Fuku (Shensi, China)
  4. Not To Be a Penis.<o></o> First of all, you're bald your entire life. Second, you have a hole in your head. Third, you live between two nuts. Fourth, an a$$hole lives behind you. Finally, when you get excited, you throw up and then you faint. <o></o> <o></o>
  5. Lonely


    A teacher asks her class to use the word "contagious". Roland the class swot, gets up and says, "last year I got the measles and my mum said it was very contagious." " Well done" says the teacher. "Can anyone else try?" Katie, a sweet girl with pigtails, says, "My grandma says there's a bug going around, and it's contagious." "Well done Katie" says the teacher. "Anyone else?" Little Johnny jumps up and says " Our next door neighbour is painting his house with a two inch brush and my dad says it will take the contagious."
  6. NAME "Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake) LOCATION Throughout the world DESCRIPTION * One-eyed, with mushroom-shaped head (other types come with extra layers of skin) * Varying from pink to black. * Fang-less with a highly venomous spit. (Spit can reach distances up to 2-3 feet) * Size varies from 3 to 15 inches, depending on its mood & sub-species. SYMPTOMS This snake attacks mainly women in the lower front abdomen resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then a severe swelling followed by excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal. Beware: It ha
  7. were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the priest spoke. "Well, sister, this looks pretty grim." "I know, father." "In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two." "I agree." "Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?" "Anything father." "I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might see y
  8. 2009 Contract<o></o> After serious & cautious consideration, your contracts of friendship have been renewed for the New Year 2009!<o></o> It was a very hard decision to make so please, try not to screw it up!!! My Wish for You in 2009 May peace break into your home and may thieves come to steal your debts. May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet for ?100 notes or $100 bills. - May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips! May happiness slap you across the face and may your tears
  9. :wave:Here's a christmas song, one for all the little folks Merry Xmas Merry Christmas Y'all :thumbup:
  10. Lonely

    Yer nicked

    <!-- / icon and title --> <!-- message --> A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car when she was stopped by a policewoman who was also a blonde. "Let me see your license said the policewoman." The driver searched her bag and was getting more and more agitated... "What does it look like" she asked? "It's square and it has your photo on it" replied the cop. The driver looked again and found a square mirror in her bag, looked into it and handed it to the cop. The blonde policewoman looked at the mirror, handed it back to the driver
  11. Idiot Number One of 2008 I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control centre. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the emergency room right away. Here's your sign, lady. W
  12. <!-- / icon and title --> <!-- message --> 1/- The US has made a new weapon that destroys people but keeps the building standing... Its called the stock market. 2/- Do you have any idea just how cheap stocks are? No, well Wall Street is now being called Wal Mart Street. 3/- What's the difference between a pigeon and a London investment banker. The pigeon can still make a deposit on a top of the range BMW 4/- What's the difference between a guy who lost everything in Las Vegas and an investment banker? A tie! 5/- The problem with my investment bank balanc
  13. <o></o> <link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CWalter%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedT
  14. <hr style="color: rgb(134, 0, 0);" size="1"> <!-- / icon and title --> <!-- message --> Yet another Windows advert... I think not. It might, however, brighten some users day... Linky
  15. Holey Cow<o></o> A woman died and went to heaven. As St. Peter was processing her, she heard a woman screaming in pain. She looked in a room and saw a group of angels drilling holes in the woman's shoulders to fasten the wings to her. Then she heard a man screaming and saw angels drilling holes in his head to fasten the halo to him. "I don't want to go to heaven," she told St. Peter. "I'll go to the other place." "You want to go to hell?" he replies. "They rape and sodomize you down there." "I don't care," she answered. "At least I already have holes for that." <
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